Saturday, October 19, 2013

Comedy Show of Awkwardness... I just wanted a bus pass :-P


I've been meaning to post this since Wed but no time... Must have been feeling adventurous because I finally went to apply for an Urban Card (prepaid bus pass).  This is the long and short of my comedy show of awkwardness.  



Since Drew is at his new school and it is farther we are using much more bus passes these days when we don’t ride bikes, so I decided it is time to figure out how to obtain a “Urban Card” (prepaid bus card that you need to have a residency card to get, but we would save a bit of cash this way).


After months of intentions to do this I finally get to the bank and figure out where to go once inside (mostly by shear luck and google translate).  The interior of this bank is HUGE so I pause to take it all in.  I see a computerized pedestal that looks like a place to grab a number so I have a go.  YES, A British Flag!!  I press it and get my ticket.  I am pretty proud of myself at this time because I have gotten this far.  I take a seat and wait to hear my number W001.  Time to sit, wait, and to zone out. 

I hear a number called and it sounds something like this, "Voo siedemset trzydzieści dziewięć. stanąć trzynaście".  I come to life… OH crap! :-O  What was ALL of THAT???  I look and see the number flashing and it is W739.  Oh my!!  Am I ever going to know when my number is called??  I memorize what my number sounds like in Polish so I will know it when I hear it.  I am now VERY Thankful for my W001! 

I zone back out.  A few more numbers are called, many that start with Voo, which is W but I am not worried because I don’t here a simple Jeden come with it.   About 30 minutes has gone by and another long number is called.  I realize that it is A002 because I see it flashing.  It sounds like this Ahh Zero, Zero, Dwa. Stań osiem.  I realize more is being said than just the ticket number.   They are also saying the teller number… YIKES!!!  What were all those Voos earlier???  Crud, did they call my number and I just sat here??  I panic to myself.  I can’t ask for help because the sign up front clearly shows only one person working here speaks English/Polish, so I decide I better get another number just in case.  You know, I don’t want to be just sitting here for the next two hours. ;-)  I get up as nonchalantly as possible and go lean against a counter near the ticket kiosk.  I try to be discrete as if I just need to stand for a bit.  Slowly, I meander back over to the ticket kiosk.

I sit now with my new number feeling satisfied with my skills of being inconspicuous (although I am sure I wasn't).  15 mins more passes and I start thinking about that British flag I was so happy to see at the kiosk check in.  It occurs to me that the kiosk might communicate that I chose English and the system is waiting for an English speaker that can wait on me.  My mind starts to work overtime.... "What if she is at lunch?  What if I am waiting here for hours and hours and she isn’t even here today?"  Just then I hear another number that sounds like mine.  I spring up to see if it is flashing on any of the tellers from one through twenty.  Oh MY!  I can not see all of them because some are hidden behind very large marble pillars.  I start walking fast to see the hidden ones and they call a NEW NUMBER!!!! GGAAAAHHH!!!  What if that was mine?  I will never know!!  I see the new flashing number and it is W702.  My second ticket reads, “W002” so I sit again because I notice people are now looking at me.  (Me: This strange woman that keeps popping to life and has TWO Tickets to be waited on. LoL).

Another fifteen or more minutes pass and in my head I am at battle again… I have been here now over an hour.  If I leave now I know I will NEVER return and will be stuck buying bus tickets one by one until we leave Poland lol.  I am now freaking out that they called my SECOND ticket number and I missed it, ssssoooooo maybe I should get ANOTHER ticket????  :-P  At this point I already look like a fruit cake so why not get another ticket, right?  I get up as discretely as possible (not) and I make my way BACK over to the kiosk.  I get my THIRD ticket.  HA!

I sit again (of course in a different area) and wait at least another twenty minutes.  FINALLY I hear and SEE my first ticket’s number get called W001 (oops, guess I didn't need three).  I literally RUN up to the window hahaha.  I get there and say, “Dzień dobry. Czy pani mówi po angielsku?” (Good Day, Do you speak English?) To which she replies, “Nie” (NO).  In my head, “OH DEAR, HERE WE GO!”  I give her my application and she asked for my residency card, which I understand so I give it to her and start to relax that this is going good.  Then she starts speaking to me in SUPER FAST Polish.  The kind where she must REALLY think I am fluent.  I reply with my, “Tak, Tak. Dobrze. Dobrze” (yes, yes, ok, ok) where-ever it fits.   What I am really thinking… “oh my land, I hope none of that was important but whatever it was it looks like yes was the right answer!”  I have a vision of myself answering her questions with things like “You betcha, ABSOLUTELY, Sure, You got it girl!” while pointing at her and winking (haha) because either way the situation is ridiculous, as I have no clue what she just said, yet I agreed to EVERYTHING! LOL  Now I am biting my lip because I am on the verge of laughing from my little vision, which will REALLY seem like I've lost it.  Finally, there is some additional mutters of Polish from me to her, which result in a date written on a piece of paper from her.  I can only assume this date means to come back here on this day to do this whole experience again and pick up your card.  Good LUCK!  LOL  

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